Someday I will know what I’m doing, Right?

I’ve decided now is a good time for an update, since my legs are being taken captive by this:

Nothing says comfort like shins…

 

Now, on to my update.  I think in lists.  Usually these are specific to do lists, but sometimes they are bigger picture lists.  This week I found myself making a What NOT to do list and a To figure out list.

What NOT to do:

1. Forget umbrella
2. Forget Hat, gloves, and scarf
3. Be late
4. Bring to class foods or drinks that spontaneously combust
5. Plan too many errands into one day
6. Try to make phone calls on the bus
7. Sit in between people talking on the bus
8. Trip on dogs on the bus (while spilling coffee)
9. Not have napkins
10. Not know all the time variations of the bus schedule

1 – 2

By now you’re getting a pretty good idea of my week, right?  I’m sure somewhere in a parallel universe there is a Mel walking around with all her weather appropriate things, checking things off a perfectly organized to do list, and accomplishing all manner of lofty goals, but its not me.  I do, however, have a new solution for bringing what I need to school.  A Box.  I know a school bag might make more sense, but since I’m constantly switching between bags (depending on how much stuff I have to lug in) this usually ends up with me somehow having exactly what I don’t need.  So I have a box to put my books, folders, nursing supplies, hat, water bottle, gym clothes, etc.  It actually is helpful for me because I can SEE everything all at one time.

3

I was late to my first lab, which also happened to have a quiz.  A quiz for which I studied quite a bit.  I even got up early to study a little more before leaving.  I thought I knew where I was going, but I hadn’t actually made the trip solo sans GPS yet.  I left on time, but not in enough time to account for me getting lost while stuck in traffic, and then having a meltdown, and trying to compose myself…  You see I have a very serious problem with directions.  You would think that living in DC (where South means North and sometimes West) would have taught me to be better at directions, but it didn’t.  I just got lost there a lot too.  And ended up in Maryland.  A lot.  This also explains why I do not like the Movie Homeward Bound.  You see, I also had quite the battle against nature in a National Park (Rocky Mountain), but the results were not quite so majestic…also the fact that 2 dogs and a cat have better survival skills than me is embarrassing.

BTW, I haven’t been late to anything since then.

4-5

I think these are pretty self explanatory.  They both cause added frustration.

6-10

Also, I think you get the basic idea.  I have never ridden a bus before and wrongly assumed one hand was enough when attempting to stand and keep my balance.  Dogs are hard to step over when the floors are wet and I’m carrying 3 bags and a coffee mug and the driver starts driving before I’ve gotten the chance to grab a rail.  The dog was not harmed since I only stepped on fur while being thrown backward by the bus and only spilled coffee on myself.  One day, I will go the entire day without wearing my food/drinks.  One day.

What to figure out:

1. How to do a better job keeping track of my to do lists
2. How to work faster/smarter
3. How to sit still
4. How to lower my expectations for how much I THINK I should be able to accomplish in X amount of time
5. How to adjust to feeling stupid most of the time
6. How to make mistakes and move on
7. How to make mistakes and move on

1

I’m pretty sure that I spend half my day jumping around different locations on Blackboard, my downloaded files, my paper files, and my books trying to figure out what I need to do and in which order.  Some things are easier to access directly via Blackboard, but if I don’t download them I have to rely on my apartment complex internet.  So then, I always have to go back to BB and double check that I didn’t miss something new being added.  Also, cross referencing 9 syllabi is no small task.  I definitely need a bigger planner.  I’m thinking of switching to Outlook.  I have used a combination of Google Calendar and a paper planner for the past year or so, but now I’m thinking I need something a little more advanced.  I just started using OneNote a few days ago and that has helped a lot with organizing my typed notes, but I still have a lot to learn.

2

I think this one kind of ties in with a few of the others, but I need to find a way to increase my productivity.  I think once I get the hang of my classes, I will start to improve more.

3

Its incredibly hard for me to sit still.  I find all of my classes extremely interesting.  In fact, a lot of this information is the type of thing I would look up and study in my free time back when I used to be a nine to fiver.  But I’m just such a fidgeter.  Its actually the worst when I’m at home studying by myself.  I’m going to need a lot of study candles.  Again, I think this is something that will get better with time. 

4

I am absolutely clueless as to how long things are going to take me and my estimates have been WAY off.  For example, I thought my Pharmacology reading would take a few hours and it ended up taking me 9.  Granted, I wasn’t just reading- I was also taking notes and answering questions, and quizzing myself- but still.  When I’m wrong on my estimation it stresses me out.  I look at the clock and notice X amount of time has passed and I still haven’t done very much.  Oh NO!  How am I going to read 4 more chapters If I’m not even through 1 yet?  This continues on and keeps interrupting my thoughts.  Then, I get upset that I’m ruining my study time by worrying about studying.  Then, I have to calm myself down and start studying again.  Then, I see the clock.  It is a vicious circle.  And I haven’t really figured out the answer yet.  I need to estimate my study time so that I can properly schedule my time to accomplish everything.  The only thing I know to do now is to try work ahead as much as possible.  But, I’m already doing that.  Hmmmm.

5

I really like exact instructions, but nursing school isn’t about following a step by step manual.  We have to learn to think creatively and independently.  We have to combine our knowledge with common sense.  We have to put ourselves out there and push beyond our comfort zone.  I do not know exactly what I’m doing and I will not for quite some time.  There is no quick remedy for my inadequacies.  That is why I am in SCHOOL.  But the more I learn, the more I realize I DO NOT KNOW and this can be a tad overwhelming.   But I am learning to be okay with that and try to channel it into my motivation.  In one of my classes, the teacher handed out a Highlights drawing where we needed to search for hidden objects.  This was awesome for 2 reasons.  #1.  Because I was all about Highlights when I was a little kid and it brings back happy memories #2.  Because she explained that nursing is like a Highlights puzzle, because you don’t always know what you’re looking for, but you have moments of recognition that steer you in the right direction (like finding a bird made up of a beaver, a rabbit, and a shopping cart). 

6-7

I wrote down this one twice, because I imagine that I will be coming back to read this list pretty soon and will probably need to emphasize this one.  I’m  not going to do everything (anything?) right the first time.  I have many, many firsts ahead of me.  These firsts will have varying degrees of success.  I need to do my best, use what I’ve learned to be better in the future, and move on. 

So these are a few areas I’m going to work on to help myself better adjust to student life.  If you have any advice about Calendars, organizing, or not spilling coffee on yourself, feel free to leave a comment!

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